Never before in my private practice have I witnessed so many clients impacted by politics and political division. Prior to the Covid-19 pandemic, the topic of politics seldom entered into the sacredness of the therapeutic space. However, over the past four to five years, I have found most clients openly share their political beliefs within the first several months of sessions. They test the waters, seeing how I react as an authority figure and sometimes even ask permission if it’s ok to talk about politics in therapy. I may choose to self-disclose some of my own reflections, but mostly I provide a space where an individual can freely explore their unique set of beliefs and how politics has influenced their identity, self-esteem, affiliation with different groups, career, religious and spiritual beliefs, as well as relationships with family, friends, coworkers, and other organizations. I have witnessed a profound impact of political influences on these different facets of one's life.
Many traditional therapists are trained to always maintain detached, objectivity within the therapeutic relationship. However, therapists trained in Jungian/Depth, Transpersonal or Psychodynamic approaches know that complete objectivity is an illusion—that subjectivity and exploring transference (feelings the client has towards the therapist) and counter-transference (feelings the therapists have towards clients) is a central part of developing a healing, therapeutic relationship and can provide profound opportunities for growth. As a Depth therapist, I believe that our presence and awareness are the primary tools to catalyze growth and insight. For this reason, authenticity is demanded by our role and in polarizing times, staying with uncertainty, the unknown, and not falling into the trap of shadow projection (the process by which an individual’s unconscious or repressed thoughts, emotions, or behaviors is projected onto one’s environment) becomes even important and more challenging.
Furthermore, in a time where tensions run high, multiple potential crises coincide (economic, social, environmental, political, and religious upheaval), the desire to blame or scapegoat others or grasp onto the what appears to be a concretized truth or certainty becomes more tempting and common. In other words, the desire to succumb to oversimplified solutions or empty promises to complex historical problems only exacerbates problems. With filter bubbles (algorithms that keep us trapped in reading and watching media that reinforce the confirmation bias, which is our tendency to search out and consume information that already confirms our predetermined beliefs) adds to further and further polarization. AI, deep fakes, and further automation of many seemingly stable jobs has also compounded the collective angst. Political discourse might devolve into name calling, bullying, scapegoating, othering, and lead to violence or severing relationships. We have seen this same dynamic repeat throughout different times in history especially during times of unprecedented economic or social change, uncertainty, or hardship. This is why in these times, it becomes more critical to try to listen to or make contact with the other side, engage in respectful dialogue, and challenge points of disagreement without attacking personal character or simply appealing to an authority.
In the field of philosophy, one is taught the art of creating a logically sound and valid argument. An argument is valid if it is impossible for the premise to be true and the conclusion to be false, while a sound argument is an argument where all the premises are true. Now more than ever, we need to reintroduce skills of critical thinking and logic as our attention spans, ability to concentrate, or focus decreases with the increased use of social media, AI, and other technological changes. Author Nicholas Carr has outlined in his book The Shallows just how much the internet is affecting our brains as we offload more and more simple and complex tasks to the internet. Cognitive behavioral therapy uses philosophical concepts to help challenge cognitive distortions, such as emotional reasoning, jumping to conclusions without considering all the information, all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, or catastrophizing. Again, learning how to identify and point out distortions can be extremely powerful in breaking down irrational beliefs and ideology. Other logical fallacies include arguments that appeal to emotion or ridicule, historical fallacy, cherry picking, appeal to authority or nature, circular reasoning, among others. When you think of recent political arguments you have heard, how many of these kinds of statements can you identify as a fallacy or cognitive distortion?
If we lose our ability to think critically, devolve into appeals to authority, emotional attacks, personal attacks, or allow social media, group-think or AI to do the thinking for us, we make ourselves vulnerable to some of the most powerful influences that may not have our best interest at heart. Research shows that many news programs and tv stations know that appealing to emotions such as fear or anger keep individuals in a vulnerable state where they are much easier to control.
However, I recently had a very hopeful, inspiring, and enlightening conversation with respected professional in healthcare, who had very different political and religious beliefs from my own. As she shared a variety of different viewpoints and reasons for her political beliefs, I listened, validated points I agreed with, and offered other information that might conflict with her views. The more we talked, listened respectfully, and engaged in passionate conversation, it became clear that we shared a deep sense of spirituality, care and concern for people, anger and sadness about wealth inequality, corruption, greed, the global slave trade, and awareness of the deep hopelessness and sense of meaningless that many people feel. While on the surface, we might have seemed very different, at a deep level we shared many common values, beliefs, and priorities. I left this conversation feeling more connected, open, and more hopeful. In day-to-day life, most people want the same basic things: to have food, water, shelter, feel a sense of belonging, and self-esteem. When we allow rigid ideologies defined by wealthy and powerful groups of people to define what is important to us and or what issues to focus on, we become more disempowered collectively. We are inundated daily with narratives that seem to further separate, divide, dehumanize, and other those who might be different from us. It is my hope that we can learn from the fields of psychology, sociology, philosophy, and history and reject the tendency to scapegoat and dehumanize marginalized or oppressed populations, refuse to play into political pettiness, and return to core values of respect, dignity, and encourage critical thinking and respectful political discourse. Of course, this may not always be possible. and it is important for individuals to never accept verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.
Steven Hassan’s BITE Model of Authoritarian Control outlines how abusive or narcissistic leaders of cults, religions, corporations, political organizations, or governments use a form of mind control or manipulation techniques, such as hypnosis, isolation, fear, or thought-stopping to influence how a person thinks, feels, and acts. The major areas of control include behavior control, information control, thought control, and emotional control. By learning about how leaders or organizations use unethical means to gain control, an individual can ask questions, look for red flags or warning signs before joining an organization. Furthermore, the researcher and psychologist Jennifer Freyd has coined the term DARVO, a tactic used by perpetrators of abuse to deflect allegations of abuse, including deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender position. Freyd and her Center for Institutional Courage has also coined the terms Institutional Betrayal that she developed from betrayal trauma theory and occurs when a trusted institution mistreats an individual. According to Freyd, “It can be overt but it can also be less obvious, for instance, a failure to protect you when protection is a reasonable expectation.” Furthermore, Betrayal Blindness is the unawareness or forgetting exhibited by people towards betrayal. “Victims, perpetrators, and witnesses may display betrayal blindness in order to preserve relationships, institutions, and social systems upon which they depend,” according to Freyd. These concepts can help us better understand complex behavior and have more compassion and empathy for individuals who are enmeshed in any dysfunctional or exploitative organization, while at the same time, give us the courage to speak up and point out abusive dynamics.
History has shown that individuals with high levels of intelligence, creativity, and innovation are able to hold multiple contradictory ideas or beliefs at once and are able to have some understanding of complexity. Many political solutions offered fail to account for the unique historical roots of a particular issue or problem, oversimplify the solution, and appeal to emotions such as fear, rage, or disempowerment to garner political power. True political solutions begin on the individual level and often allow enough flexibility to allow communities to incorporate their own unique needs into the problem-solving process. Just like in therapy, no one-size-fits-all solution will help each different community. This is why I encourage you to explore your own personal set of values and ethics, take inventory about how your actions align with your beliefs on a practical, day-to-day basis. For this is what truly matters, not which organization one belongs to, but the depth and quality of relationships, level of compassion for self and others, and our own individual actions. One helpful reflective exercise in existential psychology is to reflect on if you were on your deathbed or only had a several months to live, would you have any regrets or would you feel that you have experienced a life well-lived with meaning and purpose?
With all of this to consider, please use your own intuition and best judgment in practicing these skills and discerning who might be open to respectful political conversation and who may not have the emotional or intellectual bandwidth to listen respectfully to other viewpoints. During the holidays we are often presented with idealized images of family, love, and togetherness, but as a therapist I know that this image differs greatly from reality. Most of us have experienced wounding within our families or may be stressed with expectations and obligations. For some, the holidays may bring up painful memories of child abuse or trauma or magnify feelings of loneliness or grief. Boundaries are very important during the holidays, it becomes all the more important to practice setting healthy boundaries whether that be allowing yourself more personal time away from family, building in self-care, or staying at a hotel rather than staying with family. However you spend your time during the holidays it is important to acknowledge your feelings, needs, create healthy boundaries, plan for triggers, and most of all take care of yourself!
Here are some other organizations that help bridge the political divide:
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