Transgenerational or intergenerational abuse, violence, or trauma that is passed from one generation to the next, can often be a contributing factor to narcissism. Most researchers agree that personality disorders arise often due to a combination of both genetic and environmental factors. Some studies have found genetic predisposition to sociopathy, psychopathy, antisocial personality disorder, and/or narcissistic personality disorder. However, there does not appear to be one single gene contributing to any of these diagnoses. Brain scans of individuals with increased sociopathy also show differences lower responses to emotionally-charged images or words than most normal individuals.
However, the majority of research focuses on environmental factors that have been linked to increased narcissism and decreased capacity for empathy. For individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), there is often a major disruption in the relationship with a caregiver due to abuse, neglect, or abandonment. At the same time, while it may be rare for an individual to be clinical diagnosed with NPD, certain individuals may exhibit narcissistic qualities or be higher on the spectrum of narcissism. Other contributing factors might be, according to writer Julie Hall, “inconsistent, or negligent care; emotional, psychological, physical, and/or sexual abuse; persistent judgement or criticism; fluctuations between idealizing and devaluing; anxious smothering or overpraising; rigid, superficial, or otherwise unrealistic expectations” (Hall, 2019, p. 38). Children who suffer from abuse or neglect learn that love is conditional and learn that they must play a role, conform, or be obedient in order to be safe or survive. Often narcissism creates a more distinct or sharper division between the true, authentic self and the false self or persona, which is the image or mask we present to the world.
If the child’s psychological and emotional needs have been neglected, the child might also learn to emotionally disconnect from others and develop deficits when it comes to empathy or navigating relationships. The child may develop cognitive empathy, which is the intellectual understanding of another individual’s feelings without the emotional/feeling aspect of empathy. Furthermore, the child who was neglected or abused may grow into an adult that develop narcissistic traits, such as becoming angry or irritated when someone expresses painful emotions or things don’t go his or her way, using others as a means to an end rather than respecting others’ autonomy and dignity, or needing to receive constant praise or validation. The narcissist might feel shame or vulnerability, but will disown these feelings by projecting them onto others. This person might erupt with anger, frustration, violence, or withdraw if their expectations aren’t met. Tapping into cognitive empathy and bypassing emotional empathy can contribute to behaviors that allow an individual to become effective and manipulating or exploiting others. Narcissism exists on a spectrum, but individuals who meet criteria for narcissistic personality disorder may consciously or unconsciously act in an abusive manner or cause emotional pain to those around them.
What is the diagnostic criteria for NPD? Individuals must exhibit five or more characteristics beginning in early adulthood and in a variety of different settings: grandiosity, preoccupation with unlimited fantasies of success, believing he or she is special and should associate with high status people, requiring excessive attention, entitlement, interpersonally exploitative, lacks empathy, believes others are envious of them or envious of others, and exhibits an arrogant or haughty attitude. However, narcissism may manifest differently. For example, an exhibitionist narcissist might appear dramatic, compulsively attract attention, make scenes, or appear more charismatic in public, while a closet narcissist might behave worshipfully, go above and beyond the call of duty with those they idealize, have delusions of victimization, stage crisis to get attention, exaggerate suffering to get attention, and manipulate through guilt and pity. The most dangerous form of narcissism is malignant narcissism or more common known sociopathy; these individuals might ridicule and humiliate others, study a group for the most vulnerable and attack to display dominance, break the rules, violate social norms and boundaries, use coercion and punishment to overpower, enjoy making others suffer, and have no problem using violence to achieve personal goals.
Narcissism is difficult to diagnose for several reasons: true pathological narcissists do not seek treatment or if he or she does it might be to manipulate a situation, therapists may avoid diagnosing personality disorders due to the stigma, it may overlap with borderline, histrionic, or anti-social personality disorder, and if an individual is active in an addiction he or she will also present with narcissistic tendencies. However, narcissism appears to be on the rise, particularly in the West. In The Narcissist Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement, the authors Twenge and Campbell cite research that indicates that narcissism has increased over the past 30 years, while empathy has decreased. A research study examining music and lyrics also reflects this trend of increasing narcissism and hostility. Increasingly, societal values reflect a focus on materialism, attractiveness, and wealth as a measure of success contribute to high rates of narcissism, as well as shift away from civic responsibility to instant, self-gratification. Other factors include historical influences of oppression, conquest, and colonialism, which tends to reward leaders who are more violent and aggressive. Individuals with narcissistic tendencies also are more likely to rise to the top of powerful organizations or corporations. In the West, the focus on rugged individualism to the exclusion of the community or collective also promotes these qualities. Narcissism is linked to weaker social bonds, shallow values, less intellectual interests and value on hard work, increased aggression, and overall less empathy. Technology and the increased use of social media has also shifted the focus to the self at the exclusion of others and create filter bubbles, which reinforce one’s preferences, desires, or pre-existing beliefs.
Narcissistic abuse also may occur in one-on-one relationships or across large organizations or segments of society. According to Julie L. Hall, key features of abusive relationships include a refusal to take responsibility and constantly blaming the other, projection of selfish motives or abusive behavior onto the other person, baiting and ridiculing, hypersensitive to criticism, pitting people against one another, sudden, often violent rages, scapegoating loved ones, gaslighting, and indifference or anger with others’ illness or loss, denial in truth in spite of evidence, and calculated charm. The goal of narcissistic abuse is to exert control over a victim or group of people and this is done by undermining an individuals’ confidence, isolating the individual from friends and loved ones, using thought or emotion control, and using fear and punishment to control and get respect. Abuse can manifest as verbal/emotional abuse, physical, sexual, financial, and even spiritual or religious abuse. Dr. Steven Hassan has created the BITE Model outlines how narcissistic or abusive leaders of organizations use behavioral, information, thought, and emotional control to unduly influence their victims.
Once victims are caught in the grips of narcissistic abuse, trauma bonding, which creates a strong feeling of connection through shared traumatic experiences often keeps the victims trapped in the cycle of abuse. Victims often become codependent and through psychological manipulation, learn to believe that the abuse is their fault, make excuses for their abuser, or keep it secret out of shame. Stockholm syndrome is where the victim learns to love and depend on their abuser for affection and validation, can develop as a means of emotional, psychological, and physical survival in an abusive relationship.
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